Papal Partner Proclaims: UK is Third World

I do so love it when those crazy Catholics open their mouths and firmly place their foot in it. Cardinal Walter Kasper did exactly that after he made a comment about how arriving at Heathrow Airport was something akin to landing in a Third World country. Apparently the Cardinal's remark was a reference the UK's multicultural society. Hmm, multicultural society, huh? Sounds a bit like you're saying that you don't like places with people that have different shades of skin color, if you ask me(ohh noes, brown people!!).

Naturally, the Catholic church was quick to distance themselves from the Cardinal after he put foot to mouth. A spokesman spouted the standard PR line: "His comments do not represent the views of the Vatican, nor those of Bishops in this country. They are the personal views of one individual". Which, most likely means that while they share his beliefs, they aren't stupid enough to make such a Public Relations blunder by saying it aloud.

As if the first comment wasn't bad enough, the Cardinal went on to criticize British Airways by saying that if you wear a cross on the airline "you are discriminated against". Right, you're part of one of the most powerful organizations in the world. An organization that is so powerful that it can molest children all over the world with impunity. But yet, somehow, you're being discriminated against? Hold on, I've got this really tiny violin to play for your troubles.

It is true that British Airways had previously prohibited the wearing of symbols of faith, but has since changed their dress code to allow it. They did this back in 2007 at that. But even if they hadn't, this only covers EMPLOYEES of British Airways. This, of course, doesn't stop him from throwing out the Christian Victim card(they really never get tired of being the victim).

The Cardinal went on to babble something about the UK's strong Christian tradition in between periods of foot to mouth interaction. Christian Tradition? What, like burning people at the stake, holy wars between Protestants and Catholics that claim thousands of lives, and the torture and murder of heretics? Yep, those were some good times alright. Nothing quite like the good old days.

Now after all of this, the Cardinal has canceled his trip with the Pope on account of being ill. Some would question whether or not the good Cardinal is actually ill or just dodging the bad press from his commments. I for one, do not. He obviously got sick after eating some food prepared by heathens! You know how those dirty heathens are always out to get good god fearing folk, like the good Cardinal. It could also be that some of those "aggressive atheists" used their atheist magic to cast a curse on him! Those crafty atheists are always using their scientific witchcraft against god's followers.

Immaculate Ice Cream and Pregnant Nuns

A saucy new ad in the UK has all of the Catholics with their panties in a bunch. Who knew that pregnant nuns were a hot button for them? Or maybe they just don't like women eating ice cream. Either way, there's quite some uproar over this little amusing picture. The ad was pulled because the Advertising Standards Authority thought it wasn't fair to mock the beliefs of the Roman Catholics. But Antonio Federici, the blasphemer who would dare show a woman eating ice cream(god reserved that for men, like all the good things), plans to post more ads that are a "a continuation of the theme". Can you imagine the gall of it all?! Posting ads that don't hurt anyone and that are being paid for by the company! How dare they do such a thing! It's just outrageous that they don't spend every last dime kowtowing to religious sensibilities.

The UK based company wanted to "comment on and question, using satire and gentle humour, the relevance and hypocrisy of religion and the attitudes of the church to social issues". Boy, in America those would be fightin' words! But Antonio is undeterred by the banning, which isn't his first at that. The company plans to put up more ads with a similar theme, along and around the Pope's route around Westminster Cathedral.

Personally, I look forward to more ads by Antonio Federici and all the bunched Catholic underpants that it will result in. But if I were him, I would be seriously glad that the church can't burn people at the stake anymore. Because you know they'd break out the kindling if they could get away with it.

Book Burning Bonfire: Qur'an Edition

As the eleventh of September nears again, some Christians have found a new way to celebrate. That's right kiddies, book burnings are back in fashion! Oft times I wonder what Christendom would do without something to burn. Heretics, crosses, and the books of infidels, pretty much anything that will hold a flame. Now, I've read the Bible a few times and all, but I don't recall the part about pyromania. Well, that is, unless you count hell. But that's more brimstone and less bonfire.

Pastor Terry Jones is steadfast in his resolve to have the biggest bonfire money can buy, despite condemnation from around the world. After some prayer, and probably some of those sanctified saltines they love so much, the Pastor said: "We must send a clear message to the radical element of Islam". The message is quite clear in fact; burning things is a great way to gain attention.

This little Florida congregation has gained quite a it of attention from this whole escapade. So much so that even the Vatican has shown concern over their plan. That's right, the Vatican. Let that sink in for a moment. The very same Vatican that has no problem with buggering little children, lying about the efficacy of condom usage, and selling Indulgences. Call me crazy if you like, but if the Vatican thinks your plan is a bad idea, maybe you should reevaluate it a tiny bit.

Now this isn't to say that mister Jones here is without his reasons for igniting more than a few Allah loving pages of holy script. He has his reasons. Ten of them actually. I'll save all of you lovely people a little time, and cut to the most hilariously ironic of them.

Two
The Koran does not have an eternal origin. It is not recorded in heaven. The Almighty God, Creator of the World, is NOT it's source. It is not holy. It's writings are human in origin, a concoction of old and new teachings. This has been stated and restated for centuries by scholars since Islam's beginnings, both Moslem and non-Moslem.

. . .

Six
Islamic Law is totalitarian in nature. There is no separation of church and state. It is irrational. It is supposedly immutable and cannot be changed. It must be accepted without criticism. It has many similarities to Nazism, Communism and Fascism. It is not compatible with Western Civilization.

Seven
Islam is not compatible with democracy and human rights. The notion of a moral individual capable of making decisions and taking responsibility for them does not exist in Islam. The attitude towards women in Islam as inferior possessions of men has led to countless cases of mistreatment and abuse for which Moslem men receive little or no punishment, and in many cases are encouraged to commit such acts, and are even praised for them. This is a direct fruit of the teachings of the Koran.

So, the holy teachings of Islam aren't recorded in heaven, but the holy teachings of Christendom are? The Qur'an(or Koran if you like) isn't the eternal word of god, but the King James Bible is? You'll have to forgive my incredulity here, but it seems to me that both books are the products of people. Very twisted and disturbed people, but people all the same. But, that whole thing aside, what proof is there that one should favor Jesus over Muhammad in the whole area of fantastic fairy tales? When you get right down to it, they're both just a rehashing of the same old myths.

Islam has many similarities with fascism, huh? Funny, I was just thinking that about Christianity. Number six here is just further proof for my hypothesis that Christians don't actually read their bibles. They just seem to fill a decorative role on the pews. So we're to believe that Islam is evil because it is totalitarian and doesn't have a separation between church and state? That's amusing, especially considering that Christians have a very hard time not pushing their beliefs into government. Be it the campaign against gay marriage or putting up the Ten Commandments in courthouses.

Historically speaking, Christianity, in the form of the Catholic Church, ruled much of Europe for centuries. They had total power over life and death. If they didn't like you, you can bet you'd have a date with a bonfire. There was no separation of church and state here. None. It was pure and unbridled Theocracy. They waged countless wars against unbelievers, infidels, heretics, and anyone that got in their way. The very notion of implementing a separation of church and state largely came from a little rebellious colony on the outskirts of the late 18th century British Empire. A colony that had the gall to utterly exclude god from its Constitution completely.

Number seven, much like six, is full of an undeserved sense of moral superiority. Talking down about the abuses of Muslim men against women, as if Christianity had never oppressed or abused women in its history. As far as women as possessions go, well let's see what the holy word of the King James Bible has to say about that, shall we?

Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

Boy, that sure sounds like women are possessions in Christendom too. Strange, maybe it's just an isolated verse and Christians really are better than Muslims. Let's look a bit more, shall we?

Exodus 21:7 And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do.

Exodus 21:8 If she please not her master, who hath betrothed her to himself, then shall he let her be redeemed: to sell her unto a strange nation he shall have no power, seeing he hath dealt deceitfully with her.

I could continue, but I think the point is quite clear by now. Christianity is no better than any of the other Abrahamic faiths. None of them are religions of peace and most certainly, none of them hold any moral ground over the other. At their core is nothing more than teachings of irrational, fervent hatred for anyone that doesn't adhere to your particular creation myth.

The Pastor's plans for a bonfire show the kind of demonizing that goes with most religions. It's the type of irrational, bigoted action that is carried out in the grips of religious hysteria. Certainly, the Pastor is entitled to his freedom to speak as he sees fit, but that doesn't mean that sentiment of his actions is a good one. Especially considering the history that Islam and Christianity have. After all, the line between burning the books of infidels, and burning actual infidels is a thin one.

Conservapedia: A Cache of Comedic Genius

Conservapedia, for those of you who don't know, is a wiki dedicated to eliminating the liberal bias from reality. After finding that Wikipedia had a vendetta against Christianity, Andrew Schlafly and some students founded Conservapedia. Here, they could have a place to spout nonsense at one another, free from those nasty things called facts. Truly, it is a place that is totally free of any inkling of reality. I find that after any extended time reading articles there, I have the overwhelming urge to click my heels together and chant “There's no place like home”. Well, except, you know I wouldn't be going back to Kansas. I shudder at such a thought.

The articles, despite their apparent vapidness and being utterly out of touch with reality, are overwhelmingly hilarious. Sure you can go to places like Wikipedia if you want things like facts, figures, and a rational worldview. But, if you want offensive nonsense, that would only appeal to a partially lobotomized chimp, then Conservapedia is the place for you! After all, where else are you going to find serious commentary on AIDS, that refers to it as a “gay disease” and “gay cancer”? That is just to the tip of the proverbial iceberg as far as inane rantings go. Their pages on Feminism, AIDS(a so called gay disease), Biblical Scientific Foreknowledge, and Liberal Denial are enough to make anyone with an IQ over that of your average ham sandwich, burst into furious fits of laughter.

It's hard for me to imagine anyone taking this kind of tripe seriously. Though, I am at a disadvantage, seeing as I haven't suffered any crippling head injuries or been wont to eat lead paint chips(delicious leaded candy, that neurotoxic family friendly treat). I do fear for anyone that does take absurdity like this as truth. If one were to give a wiki such as this, even one iota of credulity, I do believe they would be raving mad within a week.

Making fun of the intellectually impotent aside, this kind of thing is incredibly serious. Mankind has made some tremendous strides in past centuries. With the rise of reason and science, we have seen untold progress. Anton van Leeuwenhoek's microscope gave our first glimpses of the basic units of life. Galileo's telescope would give us the moons of Jupiter. Newton's theory of gravitation would eventually give us the moon landing, satellites, and exploration of the planets. These discoveries were more than just simple bits of knowledge gathered for scientists to play with. Our entire modern world is built on these things. Without the theory of Gravitation, we wouldn't have satellites in orbit(i.e. No GPS). Without the microscope, we probably wouldn't have germ theory, and we would still be at the mercy of pathogenic microbes(before there was Germ theory, disease was believed to be caused by demonic possessions).

There is very little in our modern world that isn't built off of the advances of some scientific endeavor. The CPU for your average computer wouldn't even exist without the understanding quantum mechanics(the transistors at the heart of modern electronics require quantum theory to function). Global positioning systems wouldn't function without the Theory of Relativity. So much of what we consider the modern world hinges on the work of so many dedicated researchers and scientists. Brave men and women who have pursued the course of truth, even when it flew in the face of their personal convictions. Be it Einstein's belief that the universe was static, which was totally decimated with Hubble's observations that the universe was, in fact, expanding. Or be it Darwin's own grappling with faith as he realized that a creator wasn't needed for life to diversify.

Yet as ignorance of science and technology grows, charlatans would bring forth their own addled brained rantings and label it as “truth”. They peddle this nonsense on any forum that will give them even the slightest bit of attention. They claim that their ravings deserve the same time and recognition, as the work of hundreds and thousands of scientists over the centuries. But they cry foul when asked that they be held to the standards of science and reason. They decry and defame anyone who would speak ill of their flawed and deformed deductions. But they fervently and rabidly attack anything that doesn't adhere to their personal bias of reality.

I wish I could say that places like Conservapedia are few in number or that they were some way at the fringes of society. But the fact of the matter is that as the common understanding of science wanes, places like this flourish. Ignorance is a breeding ground for so much of what erodes our society. But ignorance is a strange thing, as Thomas Paine once wrote, “Ignorance is of a peculiar nature; once dispelled, it is impossible to re-establish it. It is not originally a thing of itself, but is only the absence of knowledge; and though man may be kept ignorant, he cannot be made ignorant”.

When the charlatans bring forth their gimmicks and so called “absolute truths” they perpetuate a willful ignorance. In the vacuum created by this ignorance they are free to demonize and dehumanize anyone they so choose. Anyone that doesn't fit into the scope of their limited world view becomes a target for their unrelenting anger. One can catch a glimpse of the worst of this sort of thinking by simply looking at the Westboro Baptist Church. Here's a good example from Conservapedia, too.

“What's the name for a self-centered, uncharitable person who censors classroom prayer? An atheist. That's why atheists do not build hospitals, and they don't win sports championships like the World Cup either.”

That's a little excerpt from the current main page of Conservapedia. Self-centered and Uncharitable? Really? This is exactly what I mean by dehumanizing and demonizing. Atheists come from all walks of life and have contributed quite a bit to society. Yet, in a few sentences they feel quite comfortable lumping all atheists together and labeling them as worthless. But they don't just have it out for atheists! Let's see a few entries from the Liberal Denial page, shall we?

11. Liberals deny that a woman significantly reduces her risk of breast cancer by having children rather than abortions

12. Liberals deny that about half of promiscuous people carry sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), and those STDs cause infertility

13. Liberals deny that the strident promoters of evolution generally have weaker credentials than advocates of intelligent design

. . .

15. Liberals deny that Homosexuality shortens lifespan for a wide variety of reasons

. . .

More generally, liberals also deny:

3. That people like young mass murderers who take atheistic beliefs to their logical conclusions are not "crazy" or "insane", but are true believers.

4. That young mass murderers fit the profile of public school-trained atheism

. . .

8. That state run health care has lead to Islamic terrorism in Britain, and would do so in the US.

While these comments are laughable(they're quite hilarious actually), they go to show the sort of dehumanizing that I mentioned. Once you can reduce someone to a simple label and generalize them, you can start the process of turning them into a monster. By linking atheists to mass murders, they can then start calling them even more horrible things. Then, when someone actually starts persecuting people for not believing in a deity, they don't feel the slightest bit of remorse. After all, they're monsters, and not human, right? The same goes with homosexuals, pro-choice women, or anyone that challenges their narrow-minded beliefs. It's something that we've seen far too much of throughout our history as a species. If we give these people even one iota of credibility, they will do everything they can to demonize their opponents and strip them of their human rights.

I for one will not remain silent to such belligerent brainlessness. My alliterative allusions to their intellectual ineptitude and impotence shall continue!